2012 (2009)

So the world is going to end in 2012, like we haven't heard that one before. And while the movie at least tries to explain the scientific basis behind why the world is falling apart, it fails in the one reason the movie was created, its special effects. Honestly, why the writers even bothered with a plot is beyond me, especially since they don't do much with it except add to its runtime. Of course the world falls apart around the main characters and the craters them around like winding snakes playing a game of tag. It is the same old just in the nick of time story with a more than obvious blue screen. The movie starts off with a tired middle aged man facing a personal crisis, played by John Cusak. This isn't a stretch for Cusak as he is constantly re-playing this type of character. At least he tries to act scared when the earths crust gives way. The movie continues to race towards its inevitable conclusion when a catastrophic solar flare emitting mutated neutrinos warms up the earths core to temperature that break the crust. Earthquakes and fault lines start to form as Cusak's character fights to take his family to the secret arcs (yes, like Noah) that the government has built in China to save all of the rich and powerful. By the time the movie hits the halfway mark, the plot leaves behind all semblance of hope when a pilot with barely a licence flies a Antonov cargo plane to China. The whole movie feels like a long Disney ride on crack, you know the ones where the chairs move and you can't believe that you are subjecting yourself to the nasea. Sometimes it's fun but for the most part you just can't help but laugh.